How to Handle a Medical Crisis

I have a dear friend who just found out her dad collapsed at a restaurant and had to be rushed to the hospital where they performed heart procedures. He will be in ICU for a few days. Her mom has dementia. Luckily, they have an aide that will stay with her mom at night and her brother is available to stay with her mom during the day. My friend has been diligently working to be one step ahead of her parents needs and health care concerns so when this crisis hit it all went as smoothly as possible given the circumstances.

We all wait for the next shoe to drop.

Nevertheless, the constant worry about the unknown and the waiting for the next shoe to drop feeling still haunts her as it did me when I was going through the same situation with my mom and dad. I remember being so sick to my stomach and unnerved the entire time my parents were going through a medical emergency or new development.

I would take on the blame.

I constantly questioned myself and my ability to take care of the situation and my parents. The chatter in my head on a daily basis was telling me I wasn’t doing the right thing; I wouldn’t be able to fix this, and the absolute worst-case scenario was about to happen.

I felt guilty if I wasn’t right there when the crisis occurred and guilty the whole time I was waiting for the results.

Showing up is more than half the battle.

The absolute truth of the matter was that I really had no control over the situation and that the universe and my parents had a plan which would be carried out no matter what I did. All I could do was show up and do my best.

Beating myself up, taking the blame for the situation and second-guessing myself made all of it so much worse and was in fact really detrimental to my health and well-being. All that self-criticism was a lie and it was getting in the way of my own self-care and the care of my loved ones.

Put the mask on first.

It became critical during these circumstances that I stop beating myself up and try instead, to be aware of what I needed to feel better. I would tell myself I was doing a great job and would listen to my friends and family when they told me the same thing. I had to watch what I ate (sugar is not your friend at times like these) and make sure I was rested and stay hydrated. I would try and remember that in case of emergency when flying, we must always put your oxygen mask on first. How can you help someone else if you can’t breathe?

I have heard the acronym for GOD is good orderly direction. I had to remind myself constantly that as long as I practiced good orderly direction by tackling one task and decision at a time to the best of my ability everything would work out and that powers greater than myself would take care of the rest. I could find moments of serenity when I got back to the basics of taking care of myself first, then my parents.

Be in top form by taking care of yourself. 

Going through a medical crisis is never easy. It’s painful and frightening. But the only way to get over anything is to go through it. Make sure you are in top form to cope with the challenges a medical crisis can bring. You are the advocate and guardian and need to be strong, healthy and calm to support those you care for. You are empowered when you are calm and centered. So the best way to handle a health crisis is to be your healthiest self, physically, mentally and spiritually. This won’t make the crisis less scary or upsetting, but it will make it bearable and less traumatizing.

 

This post was adopted from blogs at https://www.caregiverwarrior.com